Nov 2025 – Acts of Kindness
I was diagnosed with Friedreich’s Ataxia at the age of 44 after experiencing symptoms for a couple of years. I am now 46.
One thing I have found over the last couple of years is that I really have to force myself to do things that make me uncomfortable or anxious. It would be much easier to withdraw completely. When I was diagnosed, I was referred to psychotherapy. One thing I learned there, which I find incredibly helpful, is the spiral theory.
The psychotherapist told me that many people who receive a life-changing diagnosis tend to withdraw and not go out. When this happens and you avoid something, if you imagine the upward part of a spiral, you feel temporarily happy and less anxious because you’re not facing the fear. But afterwards you feel deflated and wish you had done it (the downward part of the spiral).
If I force myself to go to an event that makes me anxious, I feel temporarily anxious (the downward part), but afterwards I’m so pleased I’ve done it (the upward part). Overall, you are moving up the whole spiral and making progress.
This month, I went to a gig. On arrival, I quickly realised the steep stone steps outside leading up to the front door weren’t great for me! I got in okay, but before the end of the gig I started overthinking: How will I get down? Of course, this stress doesn’t help (extra cortisol/adrenaline).
When I went out, the doorman could see I was unsteady. I got the usual “Are you drunk?”, not in a bad way; he was still being incredibly kind. But when I said I had a disability and was panicking about the steps, he put his arm out and helped me down, one hand on the railing on one side and linking arms with him on the other.
One positive from all of this is that if you are open with people, they are, for the most part, incredibly kind. And in the end, I was glad I went.
As my sister jokingly says: “You are whizzing up that spiral!”
