My experience to date of having Ataxia seems like everything little additional illness takes longer to recover from. I am not sure if that’s because I am getting older or if it is because I have a chronic condition. I currently have things affecting me that I am not sure are due to menopause or if the Ataxia symptoms are worsening. It’s a minefield!
When you have a degenerative condition, it’s hard to put changes down to old age and relax, but worrying isn’t going to help things. I recently listened to a podcast about someone burned badly in a house fire. Her recovery is ongoing, but she realised that she needs to live her life differently going forward and that things couldn’t be the same. This really struck a chord with me, but I wasn’t sure why at the time.
I really find not having control of my future hard and I don’t find going with the flow easy. I am a self-confessed control freak, but to be happy, I need to live my life differently. I think I will never fully be comfortable with my Ataxia diagnosis because I don’t know what exactly the future is or isn’t because of it. However, you can never fully know what’s in the future, and you need to make sure the here and now is working for you. There will always be periods of ups and downs in your health, which I am trying to accept but it isn’t easy, but I will keep going.
